DOCTOR RON'S COCAINE DEALERY




(We hear elevator music Tom joins Greg in the elevator)

(Enter Tom)
Hey Greg! Howya doin’ there buddy? You getting settled in to the new city alright?

Greg
(trying to be cheerful
Yeah, I guesso, man.

Tom
Well, I know it can be hard, moving to a new place, knowing no one, just being pathetic in general.

Greg
That’s right Tom. Wendy and I used to have the most exciting life. We’d go to concerts or just pack the car and head off down the highway. But, nowadays we just don’t get out. We just don’t have as many friends.

TOM
Wow, Greg. That really does sound tough. You know, me and Marsha hit a little rough weather a few months ago.

Greg
Oh yeah? So, what didya do about it?

Tom
Cocaine.

Greg
What?

Tom
Cocaine! Great for making friends and keeping them! Party goes as long as you say it does.

Greg
I dunno Tom. We tried that before

Tom
Greg, something tells me that was crank.

Greg
Crank?

Tom
That’s right buddy. Sometimes sold as coke, it’s usually cheap and leaves you unable to shake the feeling something important is buried in your yard.


Greg
Oh, well, maybe but how would you ever know?

Tom
Buddy, what if I told you where you could find good, affordable Columbian cocaine at less than street prices?

Greg
(Incredulously)
Fuck off.

Tom
I won’t Greg. But, I will tell you about the mythical, magical, discotastic world called Dr. Ron’s Cocaine Boutique. It’s got wall to wall sofas, clean toilets and a very tasteful velvet painting of Princess Diana of Wales.

Greg
(Getting his wallet out, counting his cash)
Where is it?

Tom
A house.

Greg
(still counting)
Yeah, but a house where?

Tom
When you get there you have to knock

Greg
(holding cash in hand)
A house where??

Tom
And know the password.

Greg
But where???

Tom
Ok, gimme $20 and I’ll take you there.

Greg
Fine! It’s good shit though, right man?


Voiceover
Dr. Ron’s Cocaine Boutique!! Pay a guy $20 and he'll go there for you!!

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